wow this is great ain't it. not only have i cut off all contact with andrew, but now my bestfriend's angry with me cos i didnt tell her what happened and thinks that i dont need her anymore.
kyna, it's not that i didnt want to tell you what happened it's just that i cant. if i tell you every single fucking thing that happened you would hate him, wait all of you kyna jean jen dawn would hate him. and then when you guys see him, you all would bitch him. and then he'll come SCOLD ME and say that im the one causing all this trouble. that all you guys heard is only my side of the story and that's being "very unfair to him". he'll say that im the crazy one creating all these unnecessary animosity.
secondly, kyns there's always a right place and a right time for me to tell you what happened. we were at coffee bean and the last thing i wanted was to cry there and then which i most probably would have since even as im typing this im shedding pathetic tears.
you guys all along knew that this wasnt a friendship and that i just insisted it was just to make myself believe it was too. he went to fucking make things complicated by getting me more and more involved emotionally and physically and yea i was stupid. and then after everything happens he comes and tells me that all he sees in this is FRIENDSHIP and that he "made a promise to his girlfriend that i'll marry her". so everything is just so fucking contradictory that sometimes i really think that he's schizo.
and then to top it all off, kyna just told me that he was at club home last night, when he told me he wasnt going to go out with the guys anymore and was gonna stay home. and please all he said to me was to study? fucking bullshit nonsense crap. btw he said that the biggest problem is not about me and him. the biggest problem is myself. and how i should overcome it and study my ass off. and i bet he was in a good mood because i wasn't there and what's the point in treating my friends all damn nicely when you fucking treat me like trash and shit. what's the point.
and please guys, i begging you all even though you guys know about this. please just keep it to yourself, and next time you guys see him just be normal and calm. because i know that one day karma is gonna get him. what goes around comes around.
jen i bet youre thinking like "see tell her so many times already" or "i told you so.." haha. but i'll learn. i'll learn from this.
so to my dearest kyna, it's not that i dont need you anymore or whatever. but really girl, it was just fucking hard for me. and i admit that i was being terrible to you yesterday and im really sorry. but everything's just going very badly for me and i just didnt wanna see charles and all at club home cos they'll only remind me of andrew and luckily i didnt go home club cos eventually andrew was there. i want to get away from everything associated with him to make myself forget and realise what an ass he really is. and that i dont fucking deserve any of this and that most importantly, it's his fucking loss. i need to make myself stop crying over someone who really isnt worth it.